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EVERYTHING MUST GO!
Sony Pictures’ new film 2012 imagines how the governments of the world would prepare six billion people for the apocalypse. It’s conclusion? They wouldn’t. The film takes it’s inspiration from a number of prophesies which posit that the world will end (or at least undergo some kind of monumental environmental or spiritual change) on the idle Friday morning that is December 21st 2012. Lending particular credence to this prophecy is the Mayan ‘Long Count Calendar’ which, having been counting for over 5000 years, abruptly comes to an end on this very date. Evidently, for the Mayans, this is not merely a matter of nipping down to Tesco and getting themselves a new 2013 calendar: this really is the end.
The interesting thing about the advertising for this film is that it not only has us suspend in disbelief – indulging momentarily in the possibility of the unimaginable invading the real (e.g. Cloverfield’s shaky, hand-shot viral of a beast wreaking havoc in New York City) – but actually has us believe that the world will end, latching on to existing hysteria and exacerbating any momentum it already has. It’s like a surfer riding a wave – a tidal wave, that is, one that will eventually destroy all in its path.
Having made our way to the film’s website www.whowillsurvive2012.com and viewed the trailer, we are then linked to another site belonging to the ‘Institute for Human Continuity’ (IHC). Judging by this website’s sleek flash interface, this is no meagre scientific research group’s homepage – the design is just too stylish, and we all know that style isn’t something scientists do well. We can safely assume this site has been paid for with Sony’s cash, and made by Sony’s design team. Ignoring this minor discrepancy, the site has otherwise gone to every measure to have us believe that this is an institute, the world is going to end, and we need to start making preparations, quick. As the IHC state, while “nobody knows precisely what our world will look like on Dec 21, 2012…We do know, with near complete certainty, that a series of catastrophes will decimate much of the planet.”
In steps the E.A.R.T.H. initiative (Education and Awareness Regarding Threats to Humanity): video blogs from supposed PhD wielding professors tell us, in just about intelligible jargon, how all the evidence points towards impending destruction, and three (less stylish) ‘disaster scenarios’ demonstrate how, exactly, the destruction is set to go down. The first of these is ‘Solar Activity’; a “predicted peak in solar activity will likely lead to an apocalyptic landscape first imagined during the cold war years”. The apocalypse was first imagined during the cold war you say? The second, labeled ‘Planet X’ comes with a little interactive experiment in which we help align the earth’s orbit with that of a Planet X, seeing exactly how we will be smashed to smithereens; science, it turns out, can be fun. The final scenario foresees ‘Crustal Displacement’ triggered by “two extraordinary and cataclysmic forces… the gravitational pull caused by the Galactic Alignment and the corresponding rise in solar radiation.” Scared yet? Well don’t be.
Fortunately, in 2004, “after confirming a 6% chance of Earth surviving beyond 2012” IHC financers poured significant resources into the planning and construction of subterranean cities. And, just incase you are shopping around for your post-apocalyptic living arrangements, the site even lets you check over the blue prints! ‘How does one become a citizen?’ I hear you cry, as you cling to your family and say your last goodbyes. Well, the IHC have set up a lottery, which, once entered guarantees you a chance for survival. But, “because the ticket you receive is only valid for one person,” the IHC recommend “encouraging your family and friends to sign up as well. We are all in this together.” This, of course, a terrifyingly disguised mailing list sign-up, has already duped over 5,598,500 fearful people (if the counter is to be believed) into giving away their details.
Other ‘help’ at hand includes IHC survival kits. The ‘General’ kit, which comes in a lovely blue rucksack, contains fresh water, canned fruit and veg, a first aid kit, a battery supply and radio. Who would have thought your basic music-festival essentials would equally see you through the apocalypse? Conveniently, the kit also comes in Urban, Seismic and Coastal versions, for when that darned earthquake, lava-lake or typhoon becomes a nuisance. It seems they’ve thought of everything.
It is clear that this campaign works by exploiting our innermost fears. While it is only the more neurotic amongst us for whom the impending destruction of earth is a day-to-day concern, in this instance especially, one is better safe than sorry. It’s like Pascal’s wager, but in secular terms. It utilizes simple game theory: potential huge gain (survival), small loss (having to sign up/seeing film), versus small gain (not having to sign up/see film), potential huge loss (being wiped out with the rest of the non-believers). Given the odds, it is simply rational we see the film, sign-up to the mailing list, and by the ‘I Survived 2012 T-shirt’, however unlikely the whole ordeal seems.
While the Mayan back-story may fail to convince, the predicted global warming ‘tipping point’, (after which all our efforts to reverse the effects of CO2 emissions will be to no avail) also predicted by some to arrive in 2012, seems a more probable threat. Perhaps the end of the world is something that should be on our minds after all – though this more credible breed of apocalypse wont be the type to spring up on us one unsuspecting Friday morning. That said, when December 21st 2012 does come, I’ll make sure I’m sitting comfortably in my favorite armchair with a nice glass of juice on hand– just in case.
